I wish, I wish, I wish....

Sometimes I don't think enough. Sometimes I think too much. Why can't I get it just right? But here I sit, thinking again...

Our adoption journey has been a wild ride. There have been some seriously good times. There have been some seriously bad times. Regardless of the difficulties, I say I would do this all over again in a heartbeat. Painful, sure... but definitely worth it all.

And then I think. I think some more. And I think... if it's worth it, and if I'd do it all over again, why aren't I? We have space. I have a little more to give... So it's a consideration. Right?

Then... I think some more. And it's not like I'm just sitting around, pondering. There are things that are bringing the subject up in my life again. Perhaps because it's around adoption awareness month, but through the month of October there were so many things I listen to on the radio that addressed the issue. And it tugs at my heart.

Did you know that every year about 30,000 children "age out" of the foster care system? When I think about what that means, I hurt. That means that each and every day, about 82 kids are handed their bag of things and told that they are on their own. Imagine being 18 years old, not having had a constant in your life helping you to grow and learn how to deal with life and people, and suddenly being completely responsible for everything in your life - with no support system. Imagine having nobody at your high school graduation. Your wedding. Nobody to share in the joy of having a family of your own.

Granted, some of these kids will pull themselves up, get a job, get going in their lives, find somebody special, and be included in that family. I'm sure that happens occasionally. But I'm just as certain that it's not the norm.

Nearly half of the children in foster care are over the age of 10. Oftentimes, children who are older are split from their younger siblings because older children are considered to be "less adoptable." People are, understandably, afraid of taking on the responsibility of a teenager who already has some bad habits, some serious behavioral issues, and possibly some mental health issues.

But these young people are - often even if they're placed in a foster family - alone. There are some great foster families out there, don't get me wrong. But there are some not-so-great fosters out there, too. And as children get bounced through the system, they get more difficult to place in a healthy environment. More bouncing usually equals greater injury to the bouncee which equals more challenging behaviors which equals "difficult to place." Imagine becoming free for adoption and then being told that you'll likely not be "chosen" by a family because of your age... and imagine being told that your younger siblings will have an easier time being adopted without you.

I cannot be the only person who thinks the plight of these children is worth our time and energy and effort. How in heaven's name can we help these children realize their potential? Because the one thing I know for sure is that I cannot take them all.