One More Time

Thanksgiving has come and gone. Today is "black Friday" and all the crazy people are out there shopping. Not being that particular variety of crazy, I am at home on my computer instead. (Believe me, I am all kinds of crazy -- just not shopper crazy.)

For the purposes of this blog, I am going to focus on my thankfulness as regards our adoption -- so here we go:

I am thankful for my little family.
I am thankful for all the grandparents of my children, who accepted Chrissy as their own without a moment's hesitation.
I am thankful for all the aunts and uncles who were equally supportive.
I am thankful for all the cousins who run around like crazy people and play whenever we get together with them.
I am thankful for great-aunts and uncles who have hosted us in their homes and offered not only support but sometimes very helpful advice, knowing they can get away with this much easier than the grandparents (ha ha).
I am thankful for the fact that our youngest daughter is actually attaching and relaxing and is showing definite signs of truly and fully feeling like a Pizzuto.
I am thankful for supportive friends who have been a sounding board, a shoulder to cry on, and someone to laugh with when there's just nothing else you can do.
I am thankful for Children's Home Society and the post-adoption support they provide.
I am thankful, most of all, for my God who takes care of all my needs (including emotional ones), sometimes through seemingly miraculous intervention, sometimes using the above stated family members and friends.

How fitting that on Thanksgiving week we had a family powwow... something we only do when there's something decidedly important we need to discuss. And in this family powwow we discussed whether or not we have the desire and the ability to enlarge our family once again through adoption. Being thankful for all the blessings God has given, it only seemed right to share with some more people -- and with everybody voting yes (admittedly with each child placing a different "order" for a sibling), we sent in the paperwork on Wednesday to get the whole messy process started all over again.

I guess it's kind of like being at the amusement park. Sometimes, when the roller coaster ride rolls to a complete stop and there's nobody in line behind you, you just stay on the train and let it pull out of the station one more time.

I wish, I wish, I wish....

Sometimes I don't think enough. Sometimes I think too much. Why can't I get it just right? But here I sit, thinking again...

Our adoption journey has been a wild ride. There have been some seriously good times. There have been some seriously bad times. Regardless of the difficulties, I say I would do this all over again in a heartbeat. Painful, sure... but definitely worth it all.

And then I think. I think some more. And I think... if it's worth it, and if I'd do it all over again, why aren't I? We have space. I have a little more to give... So it's a consideration. Right?

Then... I think some more. And it's not like I'm just sitting around, pondering. There are things that are bringing the subject up in my life again. Perhaps because it's around adoption awareness month, but through the month of October there were so many things I listen to on the radio that addressed the issue. And it tugs at my heart.

Did you know that every year about 30,000 children "age out" of the foster care system? When I think about what that means, I hurt. That means that each and every day, about 82 kids are handed their bag of things and told that they are on their own. Imagine being 18 years old, not having had a constant in your life helping you to grow and learn how to deal with life and people, and suddenly being completely responsible for everything in your life - with no support system. Imagine having nobody at your high school graduation. Your wedding. Nobody to share in the joy of having a family of your own.

Granted, some of these kids will pull themselves up, get a job, get going in their lives, find somebody special, and be included in that family. I'm sure that happens occasionally. But I'm just as certain that it's not the norm.

Nearly half of the children in foster care are over the age of 10. Oftentimes, children who are older are split from their younger siblings because older children are considered to be "less adoptable." People are, understandably, afraid of taking on the responsibility of a teenager who already has some bad habits, some serious behavioral issues, and possibly some mental health issues.

But these young people are - often even if they're placed in a foster family - alone. There are some great foster families out there, don't get me wrong. But there are some not-so-great fosters out there, too. And as children get bounced through the system, they get more difficult to place in a healthy environment. More bouncing usually equals greater injury to the bouncee which equals more challenging behaviors which equals "difficult to place." Imagine becoming free for adoption and then being told that you'll likely not be "chosen" by a family because of your age... and imagine being told that your younger siblings will have an easier time being adopted without you.

I cannot be the only person who thinks the plight of these children is worth our time and energy and effort. How in heaven's name can we help these children realize their potential? Because the one thing I know for sure is that I cannot take them all.